Uh, guys, if I can install an app on it, it’s probably not that lost.

I mean, how many of these things do you think I own?

Oh… A lot, I guess.

Final Cut 7 Garbled Image Display

This is my dog:

Garbled Dog

She is not normally purple and green and swirly colored.

After an hour or so mucking about, reinstalling the application, trashing prefs and otherwise performing the usual maneuvers, I decided to take my own medicine and reboot. Why I don’t just always do this first — like I tell everyone else to do — is beyond me. But sure enough, it worked.

Normal Dog

Ah! That’s better! Crazy mutt!

Apple Tablet? No Thanks! (artist's rendition via AppleInsider)

Besides, I thought the advantage of tablet computers was that you could draw on them. I thought they were for artists. This thing doesn’t look like you’re meant to use it that way at all. And isn’t the whole reason Apple went with a virtual keyboard on the iPhone because of the small size of the device, to conserve space? What would be the purpose on a larger device?

I realize all is speculation at this point, and maybe I’m missing something about this thing that isn’t obvious because the device hasn’t even been announced. I mean, who knows, maybe it’s something completely revolutionary, like nothing we’ve ever seen before, with fabulous, new untold uses and capabilities. Or, hell, maybe you can draw on it. That would be great.

But if this thing’s for real and it’s anything like the rumors say it is, I’m amazed anyone’s excited about it at all. It sounds like a computer without a purpose.

Oh, and one more thing: when it comes out they should call it the Ablet. Right? Don’t you think?

Totally.

“We realize this situation puzzles some people, particularly those who subscribe to the traditional definition of “beta” software as not being yet ready for prime time.” (via John Gruber)

Gruber himself retorts:

“Imagine that — people thought that what Google meant by “beta” was what everyone else means by “beta”. Shocking”

Classic Gruber.

Now, I’ve heard Google spin it this way all over the web, but what I keep wondering is what Google’s special, newfangled, hi-falutin’ definition of beta actually is. The closest I’ve seen is this:

“Others say that, over the last five years, a beta culture has grown around web apps, such that the very meaning of “beta” is debatable. And rather than the packaged, stagnant software of decades past, we’re moving to a world of rapid developmental cycles where products like Gmail continue to change indefinitely.”

Um… What the hell are you guys talking about? Really. What is a “beta culture?” Seriously. What is that? And are you telling me that Google’s apps are the only ones to “change  indefinitely.” That’s funny, because I keep running these software update thingies on my computer and all its applications. And every year or so I install new versions of said apps, loaded with new features. So tell me again: How is your definition of beta different than everyone else’s? And why in the name of sweet merciful heaven has Gmail been beta for the past five years?

Ridiculous! And the more you try to spin it the more arrogant and full-of-it you come across.

Just admit it. You’re afraid to commit. It’s okay. We get it. There’s no shame in that.

The Beta Setting

The oddest thing is that Google clearly thinks of the term beta as completely meaningless:

“Don’t despair… for those of you long-time Gmail-ers who might feel some separation anxiety, we’ve got a solution. Just go to Settings, click on Labs, turn on “Back to Beta,” and it’ll be like Gmail never left beta at all.”

That’s right. You want the beta label back? Just turn it on. Which begs the question, why did they use the term for the past five years?

It’s just stupid.

Voice Memos Touch Response

The peak light will even flash red, just like a real recorder attached to a real mic.

Blowing into the screen will do nothing, however.

Aluminum keyboard owners all know exactly what I’m talking about.

Apple Aluminum Keyboard: Shocking!

I’m assuming the thing’s grounded as it hasn’t toasted anything yet, and so it isn’t bad for my computer. But man is it hard on my nerves. Every time — and I mean every time — I touch the damn thing I get, like, twelve-thousand volts coursing through my poor frazzled little index finger. It’s getting a little annoying.

Who knows? Maybe they don’t get static charges in Cupertino like we do in New York, but you’d think the brainiacs at Apple might’ve built something in to their fabulous keyboard to prevent this sort of thing from happening.

As it is, I may have to start wearing gloves.

Leopard Menubar: My Window has Been Decapitated
(click image for larger view)

But, as you can see from this screen grab, when one of my windows opens behind this supposedly translucent menubar you cannot see it. It just disappears. So, one of two things is happening here: either the menubar is not actually “translucent” but simply draws a shaded strip from the top of your Desktop image and layers the menubar atop that strip; or my window is not actually going up behind the menubar but, rather, is being partially sucked up into some neither-universe where graphics as we know them cease to exist.

Either way, it sure is disconcerting.

Oh yeah, and I say, “OS Ecks” as well.

Deal with it.

And that is why rejigger is today’s Word of the Day.

Okay kids. Give it a rest now.

Today I finally got a chance to start unboxing and building my new Macs. Opened up the first one and noticed that the keyboard said “Ayuda” where it should have said “Help.” Uh… Shit…

So now what? Will I have to send the entire box back for exchange, or just the keyboards? Until I know the answer to this, I can’t build my systems. And I won’t know ’til Monday, because purchasing is closed this week.

So I blog.

Hola.